PG Wodehouse Quotes

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Below is a sample of some classic PG Wodehouse quotes and prose
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She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when." The Duke of Dunstable had one-way pockets.
He would walk ten miles in the snow to chisel an orphan out of tuppence.
The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them
I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that . . . just loafed, I suppose. As for Gussie Finknottle, many an experienced undertaker would have been deceived by his appearance and started embalming on sight
Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse Her face was shining like the seat of a bus-driver's trousers
A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life's gas pipe with a lighted candle "Have you ever tasted such filthy coffee?" "Never" said Joe, though he had lived in French hotels
Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks I pressed down the mental accelerator
The old lemon throbbed fiercely. I got an idea There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine
He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more I always advise people never to give advice
She gave me the sort of look she would have given a leper she wasn't fond of Wilfred Allsop was sitting up, his face pale, his eyes glassy, his hair disordered. He looked like the poet Shelley after a big night out with Lord Byron
She wrinkles her nose at me as if I were a drain that had got out of order The Aberdeen terrier gave me an unpleasant look and said something under his breath in Gaelic
Her eye swivelling round stopped me like a bullet. The Wedding Guest, if you remember,  had the same trouble with the Ancient Mariner There is a fog sir. If you will recollect, we are now in Autumn - season of mists and mellow fruitfulness
I explain this to Jeeves and he said the same thing had bothered Hamlet  

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